Newly Single?

Ok. So. Hmm. Today bites. So read the other blog to catch up because I'm not going to re-write it all. Too lazy. The things I left out...
On the way home, I asked Ralph if he wanted to see a movie, go to the Devil's Milhopper, or the Gator Farm...all to which he replied "No." and finally he stated that he didn't want to go out. And here's the quote...
"But I can give you money and you can go out. I know you have friends of your own." Yeah. Now I'm a hooker, with a bedside table attached to my hip, and apparently I'm sleeping with Nitin, Gary, Larry, shit random people on the side of the road. This rocky relationship is driving me crazy, but I have learned remarkable control. (I mean I didn't stab him for that comment) Then after he goes to take a nap, and I go lay down eventually, he wakes me to tell me he's leaving for his aunt's house (in Tampa). He won't tell me why, just that "its none of my business, and not to worry about it". Will he be back tonight? Tomorrow? Never? Who the fuck knows.

RAGE!!!!!!!

So yeah. I talked to my mom about it and she seems to think that maybe he has communication problems...uh...duh. But I am 24 years old. He's soon to be 26. I'm done with this type of shit. High School is over. If I wanted to sleep with someone else, guess what? I WOULD!

So I went to the gym and worked out until I almost vomited. Which made me feel a little better, not much though. Then I took a burning shower and now I'm just at a loss. I don't know what I'm going to do. I love him. I love us. Why do I always have to work to keep this relationship afloat? Not to mention all the shit that has happened to me during this relationship...uh...TWICE! Not once, TWICE! (Jen call me and I'll fill you in, I've been too embarrassed to share, and I won't put it on the web for anyone's viewing pleasure). So that's me, and today, in a nutshell.

I'm not even sure that this post is coherent. Fuck it.

Men suck.
Amanda